LGBT Month: Open Letter to Cisgendered People


In the interest of full disclosure I want to say I consider myself to be lucky to be born male and also identify both romantically and sexually as straight in the sense that I do not have to deal with the pressures of falling outside of societal norms.

With that I want to write an imperfect open letter to all of those out there who are cisgendered and are confused by or do not like transgendered people.

Dear Cisgendered People,

I understand that when somebody comes up to you and they have breasts and more feminine features and wants you to call them something else besides mam it can be confusing but just like if you prefer to go by Bob or Sue instead of Robert or Susan they can choose what to be called because of what they say their gender is.  And yes, some of the folks who do not identify cis are going to get super offended when you call them by the wrong pronoun but because they are regular people just like you and me it can be upsetting to have to correct people all the time but it doesn’t make them any less human.

Also, why is it so offensive that somebody isn’t exactly like you?  We have come a long way as a society in accepting people who are different but we still have a long way to go and a phobia who happen to have different sexual and/or romantic feelings towards others is not helping.

Think of it this way; people are like colours.  There are the primary colours of Blue, Red, and Yellow which would be Male, Female, Intersex (those born with both parts or no parts at all so they cannot be medically classified as male or female).  Then there are the secondary colours, which are Purple, Orange, and Green. To me these are the less complicated gender roles which would be Gay, Lesbian, and Asexual (having no sexual preferences at all).  The best thing about this is that it does not stop there because people are a wonderful array of nuance.

This means that rather than people fitting into a color wheel like this

or even this

It is more like this

and even that is ignoring things like saturation and many other color type things I do not understand.  And just like that there are so many options for somebody to be when it comes to sex, gender, romantic feelings, sexual feelings, and choice that there is no way to define it with a million billion colors let alone a handful of words.

So I am asking pleading with people in general but especially cis folks to stop hating just because somebody is different from you.  You are not required to understand everything.  And I get it, because everybody does it, that it is easier to put a label on everything so that it can be easily sorted but as us wonderful brilliant human beings explore and learn more about ourselves and the universe around us things are going to get harder and harder to define because there is going to be more and more things to define.

People are special because they are people and there should be no other requirement.  So rather than hate and discriminate because there are things you do not understand ask questions and gain a deeper understanding.  And in the off chance you do not want a deeper understand that should be okay too (I will talk more about that in my open letter to the LGBT folks). Just stop the hate.



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