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Men’s Rights Activists are Wrong, but Not Idiots

25/02/2013

While I don’t agree with the “Men’s Rights” thing at its core, I think there is some concern to be expressed about summarily dismissing a legitimate question because it is not framed in a light that is “issue of the day.” There is a surge of these posts recently talking about the illegitimacy of anything that has a hint of being MR related.  It is crap they way that straight men are portrayed in the media.  That doesn’t suddenly invalidate how anybody else is portrayed, but its still a thing that is addressable.

I think rather than just commenting “PFT! suck it up buddy, been happening to (enter X group here) longer than you so deal with it!” it might be better to do what is considered customer service 101.  Acknowledge that the person has a legitimate concern… especially if you don’t agree.  Empathize and explain that you can understand where they are coming from.  Then, explain to them why they are wrong.  I don’t really think that anybody who expresses an MR point of view is right, I just also don’t think that most anybody is handling the response properly.

I also want to be clear.  I don’t think that MRA’s have any kind of platform to stand on but standing opposite of them and screaming at them about how stupid they are is going to actually accomplish the opposite of what some are trying to do.   Especially as nerd fighters how does this help decrease world suck?  I obviously vote that it does not.  I would not have the perception I do today (trust me, even if you don’t agree with me, its better than it used to be) if it not had been for a Nerd Fighter taking the time to set me straight on a few things in a caring manner.  So, please, take a moment and remember that you are not just fighting an idea, you are fighting a person, no matter how wrong they might be.

Peeta

(inspired by : http://seriouslyamerica.tumblr.com/post/43949215595/to-the-dads-from-a-mom)

Tomorrow: Open letter to MRA’s

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2 comments

  1. I 100% DISAGREE. If someone is espousing a sexist, racist, or homophobic viewpoint, DO NOT EVER make them feel like their point is “legitimate”. The only way to prevent such attitudes is to make it known loud and clear that such viewpoint are hurtful, degrading, and NOT okay.

    “Mens Rights” and other sexist activists have the right to their opinion. I also have the right to my reaction to their opinion, which is that it’s a harmful opinion and they should feel bad about it. Standing up against sexism, racism, or homophobia, being loud and proud about minority rights? That is the definition of AWESOME.

    –Peace out.


  2. The provided inspiring link is broken for me and so I do not know where this is coming from. However, let me inform you of a kind of anti-man mentality that might fit with the link.

    I acknowledge that as a white male, my life is pretty good. My advancement in the south eastern USA is not impeded in any way except for one. My children.

    I’ve been a single dad for seven years. My kids’ mother walked out on us all that time ago. She makes no attempts to contact them except maybe once or twice a year… if then. She is not financially responsible for them (both through the courts at my request and through her own volition). We were not married. In my state, that means I could not even attempt to get custody of my children without first proving they were biologically mine (no, that form you fill out with the birth certificate at their birth only makes you financially responsible for them as a guy and gives you no legal recourse. However paying the state for a marriage license so you can show off a piece of paper makes a difference here). To gain full custody, I not only had to prove that it was in the best interest of the children, but I had to prove that their mother was unfit in that capacity. Furthermore, she is allowed to challenge that ruling at any time (though thankfully she must not only prove that she is fit but that it is in the children’s best interest that they reside with her).

    On top of that, a lot of help I try to get within the state requires me to prove the children live with me whenever it is brought up their mother is not around. I was once turned down for even signing my kids up for school because I didn’t have the paper work with me! Thankfully I was able to get into federal/state housing and the single page lease from there stops me from having to carry around the multi-paged documents.

    This, of course, does not even cover the social stigma of being a single dad. The looks I receive when taking my kids around in public are jaw dropping and anger me. While I admit I could be misreading the body language, somehow I doubt it as I do catch snippets of hushed conversations of “weekend-dad” when my kids decide to misbehave in a store and the talk of “dead-beat dads” seem to dominate the conversations of school events I attend for my children from the parent section.

    I’ve been lucky. I was born a white male in the south. But that does not change my unjust legal standing with my children, nor the social ignorance that follows single dads.



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