Archive for June, 2013


Giving In


This is one that I don’t know that a lot of people will be familiar with but I feel is one of the most important ways to give.  Giving in to somebody can be a grand gesture that really helps build relationships and speed along a project.

I am not suggesting that anybody give in to something that goes against their moral code but giving in to things that may or may not be important can really change the course of things.  Lets say that you are working on a project.  And there is a choice between getting item A or item B.  Item A may be cheaper but item B might save more money in the long run.  Also Item B looks better than item A; and it is because of these two things you really want item B but your partner is really invested in getting item A because they are trying to come in under budget.  If you force your hand to get item B it may cause the project to come to a halt (at least for a time) but if the differences are minimal and its not going to break the project then you can easily GIVE IN and get item A.

This accomplishes two things.  First, you have shown that you are willing to compromise which, for most people, makes them more willing to compromise for you.  Second, you have built up some working capitol, if you will, that will allow you to have a better time at pushing for something that you feel is more important in the future.

I am not really suggesting that you give in just to get something later but if you learn to play the game, even just a little bit then it can benefit you in the end. You can also just give in for the sake of not getting into an unnecessary disagreement.

I hope this makes sense and we can all find ways to compromise in the future (:



Giving Time


There are lots of ways to give time.  And some of them can be fairly obscure.

There is of course actually physically giving time.  Going down to a local soup kitchen, shelter or Good Will and donating time helping them hand out food, do odd jobs, or sort through things.  This is a fine way to give back to the community and I am certain that even if you can only give an hour here and there any time you can give is always appreciated by the staff at those locations.

One way to give time is by listening to people.   Giving them your time and just listening.  And I don’t mean giving advice (although that can be part of it at some point if they ask) but, actually just listening and acknowledging that the matter to you enough that you will listen to what they have to say.  The simple act of letting somebody know they matter enough for you to listen can work wonders a lot of the time.

Another way to give time is a simple nod or smile or wave as you pass them buy.  This simple gesture that often only takes seconds and can change the course of somebodies day.  It may not seem like much but I know that personally seeing somebody I know, or even don’t know, shoot me a wave from across the floor where I work gives me a bit of pep in my step because they took a bit of time to do that for me.

What are some other ways to give time?



Tuesday Talk: The Choice


On my way to work today I was flipping through the radio channels and I happened onto conservative talk radio.  I don’t know who is on at 10am but they mentioned the taboo subject of abortion and why its wrong.  They went on this tirade about how life begins a conception and if you don’t want to get pregnant then you shouldn’t have sex and blah blah blah.

I know this is a very sensitive subject for a lot of people but I felt compelled to say a few things on this as somebody who is largely labeled conservative by my friends and liberal by my family.  So please know that I will probably use trigger words and am also likely to upset just about everybody with this post.  Please only read past the break if you choose.

Other wise here is a link to other more mild stories: LINK

Read the rest of this entry ?


Monday Rant – Why Do Sidewalks?



Why do people insist on NOT using sidewalks?  I get that its hot outside in the summer and cold in the winter but as a spoiled American does it really kill you to walk an extra 20 feet to stay on the sidewalk?  I mean there were put there for a reason; and that reason was to tell you where to walk.

This goes for everywhere.   Sure some places *couch*colleges*couch* are not laid out very well and cutting across may seem like a good idea; but in a world where green is increasingly hard to find do you really want to trample it and cause damage?

And I get that sometimes you are in a hurry and really do need to cut.  But, when we come to work the same time every day and I see you do this every day then its not because you are running late.  It is because you are lazy.

Have you ever considered that the green stuff is what provides at least some of the oxygen you breathe?  And you are just stepping on it?  How well could you do your job if somebody was constantly stepping on you over and over again?

And just don’t do it because DFTBA man… DFTBA


So, how are all of you today?



Giving Stuff


Most people have extra they can give.  Especially in the United States.

I try every year to go through my extra stuff and find things that I can give away.  If its a pair of pants that don’t fit any longer or even a pot that may not get much use any more I think its good to give.

Why is it important to give things?  For one thing,  its a form of recycling.  If you give through your local thrift shop, have your own garage sale (which really isn’t GIVING, but kinda), or just donating to a local shelter that in turns gives it to those who are in need.  I am a fan of shelters first and then maybe giving to a local thrift shop even though they have created a business model of of getting free stuff to sell but giving is very important.  You can even give directly to a friend or person in need.

This one is fairly straight forward and there is not a lot to say about it.  But unless something is actually trash, like a plastic bag that you SHOULD recycle, or beyond repair then you should be giving it away to somebody or some organization in need.

What are some of the places that you give to?



Lawrence’s v. Hathaway’s Messages


So lets talk about these two wonderful Actors.

Before we get started let me say I adore both of them.  They are tops at what they do and I believe they can play a multitude of roles VERY well and should get all of the awards.

Now to the subject at hand

Lawrence says she refuses to change her body type even for a role on Hollywood because she doesn’t want to conform to stupid standards.  Hathaway did change her body type for a role (Les Miserables) but expresses repeatedly that she did it for the role only.

These are two different messages and people seem to think they are the same because they have to deal with body image.  The message the Lawrence is sending is that she doesn’t have to what is asked of her to do her job; which includes losing weight for a character that is supposed to barely nourished.  The message that Hathaway is sending is that she will lose a bunch of weight to do a job because she is an actress and sometimes when you are set to play a malnourished character you need to look the part but that does not mean that a thin body image is to be glorified.

Look, I know people are going to be upset about this; and I love Jennifer Lawrence”s acting but the message that she is sending is not one of good body image.  It is, “I am so good that I don’t have to do what most people would have to do to get the part, so deal with it if you want me in your movie.”   This is the equivalent of Will Smith saying, “I know that Ali did X in his life but I don’t agree with it so I won’t act that part of the movie.”

So before we give Lawrence “all the things” for being a wonderful person who is fighting for women who are being oppressed lets take an actual look at what she is saying.  It’s not that she is wrong about how messed up women’s body image is.  It is just that her message is not being conveyed very well.

Does anybody else see this or am I all alone?



Shaving… Why?


/!\ WARNING/!\

The below content may not be suitable for people of all sensitivities.   Be aware that if the talk of genitals, hair, and sex bothers you then you may NOT want to continue reading

/!\ WARNING /!\

Why is shaving various body parts a thing?

To answer this question first I looked up to find out why we have hair to begin with.  Turns out we don’t NEED it.  On top of the head it’s a good idea to have since it has the most direct contact with the sun year round.  And as far as under the arms and in the genital area the hair acts as an amplifier for the pheromones that are released when attracting a mate.  Other than that its not really useful.

Still, we humans have it.

So why is it taboo if women don’t shave?  I mean guys are allowed to have a beard or not and society doesn’t care one way or another.  Sure some are attracted to the beard while others are not but you are not going to see a guy referred to as “dirty” or “trashy” for not shaving his face.

I believe that there are as many reasons as there are people but I will try to generalize what I think some of them might be.

1) The lack of body (not talking about genital hair here, that is later)  hair represents youth.  And since a lot of people associate beauty with youth the more youthful one can look the better.

2) The lack of hair or well groomed hair in the genital area is a preference.  Some prefer little to no hair because during oral sex you are less likely to get an eye or mouth full of hair.   And others prefer the all natural approach.

3)It has become the societal norm and people don’t like things that are different.

My partner is aware of my preferences and I am aware of hers because we talk about them.  However, if she doesn’t want to shave for any various reasons I am not going to freak out at her.  Before you get overly intimate with somebody you should know things about them.  Especially if those things are going to be a deal breaker for you.

A friend of mine told me on Sunday (the spark for this) “I cannot wait to get married so I don’t have to shave all the time anymore.”

My response, “Guurl (used as a substitute for their name) if you have to shave to get a man then you got the wrong man unless you want to keep shaving forever.  A persons preference does not change once they get married.”

My point is do what YOU feel comfortable with.  I personally like to be well groomed but you are not going to find me shaving my chest anytime soon.  And my partner doesn’t shave her legs very often and I am okay with that.

Also guys, hair is natural.  It is not any more “gross” for a girl to have hair on her legs, arms, genital region, or anywhere else so quit it.  Just stop. Why? Because you are embarrassing yourself.  This is the 21st Century.  Deal with it.


As always please feel free to comment below or if you want your response definitely  published send an e-mail to