Tuesday Talk: The Choice


On my way to work today I was flipping through the radio channels and I happened onto conservative talk radio.  I don’t know who is on at 10am but they mentioned the taboo subject of abortion and why its wrong.  They went on this tirade about how life begins a conception and if you don’t want to get pregnant then you shouldn’t have sex and blah blah blah.

I know this is a very sensitive subject for a lot of people but I felt compelled to say a few things on this as somebody who is largely labeled conservative by my friends and liberal by my family.  So please know that I will probably use trigger words and am also likely to upset just about everybody with this post.  Please only read past the break if you choose.

Other wise here is a link to other more mild stories: LINK

First, I am a person of male persuasion and because of this to most passing people who decide a very intimate  question like my opinion on abortion is appropriate in mixed company I simply say, “Last I checked I don’t have a vagina or a medical degree so I am not sure I am qualified to have an opinion.”  However once in a while I am pushed and my real opinion comes out… but before we get to that a few things.

Abortion.  The word by definition means you are stopping something.  You are aborting a process.  That process ends in life.  So, regardless of when you think life begins the processes that is being aborted would end in a human.  Most people know this in their brains (which is why the “when does life start” debate exists) but they have a hard time conveying that in a calm logical manner out of their mouth holes.

Men (in this case I am referring to their sex not their gender) have very little real responsibility when it comes to children.  Outside of some possible financial responsibility society does not force men to be involved in child raising.  When men choose to become fathers it is a choice.  Sure, most men will report they feel an emotional attachment to their children and some of them will even stick around to be a good father.  However, if at anytime they choose to walk away society basically gives them a free pass with the exception of money; and really money is just paper so its not that much responsibility at all.   While we are at it lets talk about child custody briefly.  Somebody has said to me that the court systems are unfair almost always giving custody to the mother.   On the surface this is a true statement but if you think about it this is really society saying.  “You, woman there, you gave birth to this drain on our economy, so you are going to take care of it.  We will have the sperm donor give you some money to ‘help’ but ultimately its your responsibility to make sure they become a productive member of society.”

[ProTip: This is an example of the patriarch giving a big fuck you to women because men are just “too important” to be bothered with raising the future generation]

Women (also sex, not gender) are fundamentally changed after they have a child.  Their hormones are never the same again.  Their entire body changes.  They cannot go back after having a child… it is impossible.  Also as somebody who is the father of two children; mothers are WAY more in tune with their children than even good dads are.   Women bear all the physical responsibility have having a baby too.   What I am trying to say is that while there are good dads out there the best dad is barely worth an ok-maybe-not-bad-but-not-good-mother in the eyes of a child.  Women run the pregnancy game which is why I mention I am usually not qualified to have an opinion.

Sex Education is one main things over looked in the abortion debate.  TheMunchKym mentioned this and DFTBAN talked about it HERE.  Abortion is largely a symptom of really really poor sex education.  I won’t go into too much detail here because it would really be another entire post but the sex education in America is crap.  Even in the schools where they don’t teach abstinence only what they do teach is so lacking it is freak out worthy.

Choice.  Sex is a choice and the only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is to not have sex.  That however does not mean choice is always there or that it is all the woman’s responsibility.  Men have a choice as well and there should certainly be stricter punishments for men who casually engage in sex.  But at the end of the day I still feel fairly confident in saying that most people choose to have sex.

Now my opinion…

First, abortion should be 100% legal.  There are two reasons we need to do this.  1) Rogue abortions are dangerous and 2) nobody should be able to make a decision about their body except the owner.

Second, the only people who should be making the decision are the woman and her doctor.  I know this is a tough one for a lot of people to grasp but they are the only two people that are qualified.   Some will ask, “What about a husband or life partner?”  To that I submit if somebody has a husband or life partner and they don’t know their significant other is thinking about getting an abortion then you have lots of other problems that don’t involve the abortion that should be addressed.

Second and a half, I can hear my more conservative family saying that if abortion happens it should only be allowed to happen after intense counseling so the women know what is up.  I would submit that any time anybody is going through a medical procedure they are briefed on the possible side effects and complications are.  Oddly enough this is a partial argument as to why abortion should be 100% legal.  So that actual board certified doctors are the ones doing them so the proper information can be given.

Third, abortion should not be covered medically unless it is for life of mother, rape, or incest.   I know this upsets a lot of people but this stems from my believe that no birth control should be covered and if you are not careful abortion can become a form of birth control.  That is right I said it.  NO form of male birth control should be covered and the only time women should get free birth control is when its not being used as birth control.

TL;DR – Abortion should be a 100% legal decision made only by her woman and doctor that is only covered by insurance like other medical procedures.

I really do want to know other opinions of the matter as I am just one guy.  So please if you have an opinion (especially a differing one) send an e-mail to be posted to dftbanews@gmail.com.  As long as you are not flaming and having an actual conversation I will post it.



One comment

  1. I am 100% against abortion, but I really appreciate the civility of your post. Let me share my opinion, which was likely not covered by the conservative radio station:

    As a scientist, I know for a fact that a human cannot grow from something that is not human. If you insert a fertilized monkey embryo into a human uterine wall and care for it all the same as you would a human embryo, it will not survive because it is not human. The second the sperm unites with the egg, that thing will form into a human; therefore, it is a living human. A just-fertilized human embryo falls under the scientific definition of “life” and “organism.” Ending the pregnancy at any point after conception is, in fact, stopping the processes that make a human life, which is the definition of murder.

    I understand that other people do not think that it is murder, and I don’t think pro-abortion activists are necessarily bad people for promoting what I believe to be murder because THEY don’t think so. I’ve also heard the argument that much like kids under 18 have less rights than legal adults, an unborn child has less rights than a born child (which then brings in the right-to-life argument).

    I do think that, a lot of the time, abortion is simply the easy way out. (Note that I am female and am “allowed” to have an opinion on this!) 🙂 Yes, your entire life changes after you have a baby, whether you had sex on purpose or unwillingly, but we all encounter things we didn’t plan and some are worse than others. A baby is a HUGE change, but it’s one we can avoid with a controversial procedure, and people are willing to fight for the easy way out.

    I had a conversation a while ago with an interesting person who was pro-life, but thought abortion should be legalized because of your first point: rogue abortions are dangerous. I know my opinion’s not so good on this one, but I say if they’re willing to take that chance to have the easy way out, then go for it… but in a political sense, I know that’s not good enough.

    I completely agree that abortion should not be paid for by the government (though I’m on the fence about birth control), not only because I am against abortion, but also because taxpayer’s money shouldn’t ever go towards an unnecessary procedure; it’s almost common sense! If abortions must be legal, I say the price for it should be very, very high (but of course, you run into the rogue abortion problem again).

    I don’t ever expect abortion will be illegal. It’s my ideal world, but it won’t happen. Thank you, though, for a great post!

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